Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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