On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My vagina is very pro this idea
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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