Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
