the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
