HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
why do cheetos always look like penises
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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