The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
