Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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