I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
