I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
