In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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