plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
