question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
