like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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