I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
