Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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