i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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