good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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