I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
