I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
