ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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