I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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