hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
