i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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