no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
