a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
