I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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