dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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