was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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