your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Randomize
