I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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