I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
