I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
