Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
