i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
