Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
