I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
