i think my tv is drunk
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
