I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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