I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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