Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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