Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Life is so much better after having sex.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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