Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
But break dance skills will only take you so far
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
