shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just found a bag of teeth...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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