I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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