Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
