apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
