Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Someone shattered a urinal.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
