In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
