um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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