Where is the hickey?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
