My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
it's great music for shaving your balls
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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