i wish peter jackson would direct porn
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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