So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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