her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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